From the desk of:

The 50 States: Washington, part 1

Our slow train continues its crawl on across the 50 states. This week, Washington!

Washington, you gatekeeper of the green. Thank god we have you to protect us from hockey players and good weed. I visited you once and we got along well…. until I arrived in Seattle. It seemed like a good place but it was just too big, too confusing for my small brain. You beat me, Seattle. I lost and I quickly retreated back to Portland. I don’t hold it against you, though. In this case it really was me — not you.

Washington, you’ve been kind enough to give us such things as Bob Barker, the worlds first revolving restaurant, apples, an incredible amount of glaciers, Carol Channing, the worlds largest building (a boeing assembly factory), Kurt Cobain, Judy Collins, Microsoft, the oldest operating gas station in the world, soft-serve ice cream, Bing Crosby, Starbucks, the only rain forests in the united states (whoa…!), Bill Gates, Mt. St. Helens and it’s temper, Jimi Hendrix, Kenny Loggins, Amazon.com, Adam West, red rasberries, hops, pears, concord grapes, pictionary, pickleball, and cranium.

Washington, you proved to be one of the most difficult states to find songs for. There are plenty about Seattle, but most are negative, and the ones that are actually about you are very hard to find. I had lots of problems confusing you with Washington, DC which is ironic because you were trying to avoid that. Up until you were declared a state you were known as the Columbia Territory. You would have kept that name but you didn’t want to be confused with the district of Columbia — then those bastards went and called the city Washington, DC. Jerks.

Boom Bap – Welcome to Seattle
Dwarves – Goodnight Tacoma
Jelly Roll Morton – Seattle Hunch
Steve Vai – The Boy from Seattle
Knut – Seattle
PC Deathsquad – I Drove to Seattle and all I got was a 3 Second Handjob
Conflict – From St Paul to Seattle
Neko Case – South Tacoma Way
Anti Flag – Seattle Was a Riot
McClusky – Bi-Polar Bear Takes Seattle
Nirvana – Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle
Todd Snider – Talking Seattle Grunge Rock Blues

Stay tuned for two more posts of Washington tunes. Next up we’ve got Virginia so if you feel like contributing some songs, leave some love in the comments.