Cinema • SARCASTIGATE.

01.05.2009
Cinema
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January 5th, 2009

Sarcastigate at the Movies: The Wrestler

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Aronofsky > ME (foot wedged firmly in mouth, thanks.)

Bruce Springsteen should start writing his acceptance speech. Best Song is locked. Incredible.

Mickey Rourke should be prepared to RAM JAM that little weasel, Sean Penn, as he walks by on his way to the win for Best Actor. Does anyone who read this know if Mickey Rourke is method? He just absolutely IS this role. Nicolas Cage was supposed to play it… Mickey Rourke BECAME this movie. Incredible.

I can’t decide who’s in better shape, though… Mickey Rourke rocking huge pecs and an 8-pack, or Marissa Tomeis incrEDIBLE body. My heart… be still. 44 years old and still rocking full frontal (ahem… piercings, natch!) with no cause for shame. Incredible.

The first act may be the most BRUTAL piece of cinema I’ve ever seen. It broke me. Incredible.

In Pi, Mr. Aronofsky shot a large amount of the scenes from the front of the characters… in this, he shoots almost everything from the back. Absolutely gorgeous. Chilling. Incredible.

Movie of the year? I’d accept an argument for such.

Rating: 9.7/10

Bonus: Bruce Springsteen – The Wrestler

12.21.2008
Cinema + Culture
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December 21st, 2008

Sarcastigate at the Movies: American Teen

Jake Tusing, Mitch Reinholt, director Nanette Burstein, Megan Krizmanich, Colin Clemens, Geoff Haase and Hannah Bailey at the Sky360 by Delta Lounge WireImage Portrait Studio on January 20, 2008 in Park City, Utah.

American Teen > Its IMDB Rating

The Middle > The End > The Beginning

The Access That The Director Creates > Any Doc I’ve Seen

That Notre Dame Girl < Anyone EVER.

Rating: 8.7/10

12.18.2008
Cinema + Culture
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December 18th, 2008

Sarcastigate at the Movies: Gran Torino

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Clint Eastwood > Clint Eastwood

Hmongs > Latins > Blacks

Rating: 8.5/10

12.11.2008
Cinema
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December 11th, 2008

Sarcastigate at the Movies: Frost/Nixon

Dry > Boring

Acting > Faking

This Movie > Defining a Genre

Rating: 9.2/10

11.20.2008
Cinema
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November 20th, 2008

Trailer Park: The Wrestler

Really, Aronofsky? I mean… I’m both terrified and infatuated with Mickey Rourke, this you know. Make 10 movies with him, I’ll probably like 8 of them just enough. You get some lee-way with that guy (roids or no roids) on board. I think you’re a good enough guy to give it to straight, though: is the romantic-sting-pulling-romantic-drama the genre you think is really going to let you stretch it out? Put that NYU education to work? Even the trailer sucks. I mean, dude, Darren, you wrote and directed a couple of the best movies of all time. (And one that made me feel like I had holes in my brain.) And then this? And on the horizon we have a RoboCop remake? Are things that tough? You need the money that bad? Or did you move to Malibu and start huffing glue? Fuck. I think I hate you, now. Sorry.

Also, it’s somehow getting amazing reviews. I guess I’ll be wrong on this one.