The Commentary Category Archive
Welcome to the Commentary archives. The posts are listed in chronological order. Click the post title to read more.
Howl Sweet It Is.
I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God.
Amazon Customer Reviews for Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt
Sales of this shirt have increased by 2300% since internet humorists began competing for who could write the funniest review. The Tuscan Whole Milk link is pretty boss, too.
The Minnesota Twins = Duck Down Records
They’re never as great as people want you to believe but are always lauded by traditionalists for playing “the right way.” They compete well with homegrown talent (Heltah Skeltah/Black Moon/Smif N Wessun = Joe Mauer/Justin Morneau/Francisco Liriano) mixed in with some savvy free agents/trades (Kidz in the Hall/B-Real/Torae &Marco Polo= Joe Nathan/Joe Crede/Delmon Young). And Dru Ha is Ron Gardenhire.
“Shouldn’t the Twins definitely be Rhymesayers? Isn’t that screamingly obvious?”–Doc Zeus
I’m not sure besides Atmosphere and Ali what homegrown beasts Rhymesayers has produced. POS? Musab? The Twins always have 3-4 developed All-Stars, much like Duck Down. Plus, thumbs down to the entire Rhymesayers label for never making ONE reference to any hometown teams in 10 years.
“I can’t imagine Slug would ever be into sports. Who has time to root for baseball when you have a girlfriend to bitch about? I’d spit up blood if I ever saw him sporting a Twins fitted. Besides would YOU want to give a shout out to the Timberwolves if they were from YOUR hometown? I don’t think so.”–Doc Zeus
What Hip-Hop Label is Your Local Baseball Team? Find out at Clap Cowards
“Fill Collins”
EI: Has anyone ever spelled his name “Fill Collins” out of respect for his performance on “In the Air Tonight?”
DK: If they didn’t, they missed a big opportunity. That is a moment where man and drum connect, bound to the earth through passion and strength. If drum fills are meat, that’s prime rib. The irony is that the first half of the song is an 808 drum machine, probably programmed by Phil himself. This shows his dedication to new technologies even though he was a bad-ass on the tubs. In no way was he threatened by little buttons and bleeping lights. Phil knows himself.
You all know I already stand behind [almost] anything Dave King says, but when he was quoted as saying, “double fuck Don Henley,” my respect for him doubled.
From Do The Math, the Bad Plus blog (run by Ethan Iverson).
Ticketbastard and the Expectation of Fair
There’s been a lot of news and commentary in the media lately about the merger of TicketMaster and LiveNation. What will it do to consumers? What effect will it have on the “price manipulation” of ticket cost? Trent Reznor wrote a completely fascinating piece on exactly how and why ticket prices are manipulated and who is profiting from this manipulation (hint: it’s not just the scalpers.)
I agreed wholeheartedly with his analysis and found myself nodding to his refusal to participate in a corrupt system. I’m a concert goer — I’m a ticket purchaser – I have an expectation that the process be “fair” because of a personal desire to a) sit hella close and b) not pay very much for the tickets. Why do I have this expectation? Michael Arrington does a brilliant job explaining the and disspelling this myth that ticketing should be “fair.”
Ticket brokers are really just market makers. They risk capital, hold inventory, and place bets that they’ll be able to make a living on the spread.
Pricing tickets is very, very hard. Demand for an event peaks just before it occurs, then falls to zero as it begins, like food that has gone bad. Changes in the economy have a dramatic impact on ticket prices, too. A good ticket broker is thinking about the quality of the event, the date of the event, the venue, the seat locations and the state of the local economy when pricing tickets. And if they do it wrong, they eat their inventory and take a loss.
Most ticket brokers don’t make much money, particularly when you factor in that they’re putting their own capital at risk. A few, those that have good instincts and the right connections, do very well.
But it’s important to know that everyone is in on the game. Players and coaches who go to the Super Bowl sell their tickets to brokers. Venues sell some of (or all of) their best seats to popular events to brokers. The artists do the same. Everyone along the supply chain gets their cut. Usually in cash, which isn’t claimed as income.
The only people taking any risk are the brokers, who put their money on the line. And when an event turns sour, they take the hit.
Apparently, People Don’t Steal As Much Porn in Utah
A study by a Harvard Business School professor shows that Utah outpaces the more conservative states — which all tend to purchase more Internet porn than other states.
Online porn subscription rates are higher in states that enacted conservative legislation banning same-sex marriage or civil unions and where surveys show support for conservative positions on religion, gender roles and sexuality, according to an analysis published in the Journal of Economic Perspectives. [...]
Utah has the nation’s highest online porn subscription rate per thousand home broadband users, at 5.47, while the nearby states of Idaho and Montana showed the lowest rates of 1.98 and 1.92, respectively, according to the study.
Full Article at The Salt Lake Tribune (via KFB)
Screamin’ Semen (or AdDICKtion intervention)
Feel free to submit your own titles.
Apparently this is old news from an old study (2002), but that shouldn’t mean we can’t publicize the good news to men and women everywhere. Topics for follow-up research: absorption through other mucus membranes, reduction of potency (presumably by playing too much Worlds of Warcraft), and addiction (increase in potency).
Semen makes you happy. That’s the remarkable conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don’t.
The study, which is bound to provoke controversy, showed that the women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina. They say they have ruled out other explanations.
From The New Scientist.
Gasoline on My Suicide Fire
Mandy does like most of my exes and rebounds into some kind of crazy matrimony. Her and I would have gotten along famously. Oh well. I’ll have to aim my picker elsewheres.
Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams engaged. MTV Reality show certain to follow.
Via Radar Online
He Also Can Rhyme “Frank Sobotka.”
Warning…. if you haven’t seen all 5 seasons of The Wire…. do not watch this video. You’ve been warned.
We drink Jim Beam. RSS Feed.
August 10th, 2009
So where did all the inner-city musical theater geeks end up, then?
Full Article at Slate.com