The Commentary Category Archive
Welcome to the Commentary archives. The posts are listed in chronological order. Click the post title to read more.
The North vs The South
FARGO, N.D. — Musician Cisco Adler, once romantically involved with Paris Hilton among other celebrities, was arrested in Fargo, ND after allegedly punching a nightclub employee in the nose.
From the Minneapolis Star Tribune, December 19, 2008
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Hollywood actor and former British soccer player Vinnie Jones was arrested after a bar fight in downtown Sioux Falls, authorities said.
From the St Paul Pioneer Press, December 6, 2008
My money is on Vinnie Jones in any and every and all ‘dakota bar fight. Motherfucker THROWS DOWN.
David Brooks, Tellin’ It Like It Is.
Chinese people work hard because they grew up in a culture built around rice farming.
Continue Reading at the New York Times.
PS: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FORMAT THIS BETTER.
Dear Mr Freud, What About My Father?
GIBSON: Do you feel in any way responsible for what’s happening?
BUSH: You know, I’m the President during this period of time, but I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so, before I arrived in President.
From an ABC News/Charlie Gibson Transcript, December 3, 2008
George Walker Bush, born July 6, 1946, is the forty-third and former President of the United States. He served as the forty-sixth Governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000 before being sworn in as president on January 20, 2001.
From Wikipedia, George W. Bush
George Herbert Walker Bush (born June 12, 1924) served as the forty-first President of the United States from 1989 to 1993.
From Wikipedia, George H.W. Bush
Can You Blame Them, Sean?
Avery was punished indefinitely by commissioner Gary Bettman for using a crude term about his former girlfriends now dating other hockey players.
“I’m really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada,” the Ontario native said. “I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the game tonight.” He then walked out of the locker room.
Avery’s ex-girlfriend, actress Elisha Cuthbert of the television show “24″ and the movie “Old School,” is dating Calgary defenseman Dion Phaneuf; she had been romantically linked to Mike Komisarek of the Montreal Canadiens. Avery also dated Rachel Hunter, the former Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model and actress who is now the girlfriend of Los Angeles Kings center Jarret Stoll.
Full Story on ESPN (Via Celebslam via HolyTaco)
Joel Johnson and His Penis Obsession
My two-week temporary position turned into a four-week one, then a six-week one, until Denton finally realized that my special brand of cock jokes were as good as Gizmodo deserved and made me the full-time editor. [...]
I planted myself in front of my computer from five in the morning until midnight, breaking only to shovel General Tso Chicken and delivery fajitas down my gullet. I gained thirty pounds. I couldn’t sleep at night, my back contorted with worry. My girlfriend and I barely slept together; she would gently try to coax me into relaxation, but I’d be too preoccupied with conceiving my next linkbait story to register her supplications.
I’d post 30 stories a day. Engadget would post 45. I’d post 45. Engadget would post 60. They were winning. [...]
I was fucking nuts. [...]
And I was about to be the first blogger to which Bill Gates would grant an interview. [...]
Engadget might have a small team of hardworking, talented reporters out-writing the rest of the industry and transforming the face of technology journalism, but could they insert penis references into thirty posts a day? I and my penis think not. [...]
We exchanged pleasantries which have been obliterated from my memory by terror. I sat down on the couch and removed my laptop — my brand new 12-inch PowerBook — and placed it on the coffee table between us. I will not lie and say that it did not seem like a small act of rebellion to record an interview with Bill Gates with my Apple laptop; it also felt like the twerpiest thing I could ever do and I regretted it immediately.
That sudden shame also knocked out a large portion of my snarkiest prepared questions. I literally scratched out “Does Steve Balmer eat babies?” from my notepad, leaving me with precious few questions to ask.
From Interviewing Bill Gates on Boing Boing Gadgets
I’ve read Joel Johnson at every site he’s written at for years. Probably for four years. I think he’s a great writer and I just….. like the guy. The article he wrote for BBG is worth a read. Super interesting. Cock.
High Fashion in the DR of Congo
From the very sad, very moving set of photos about the Congo comes a little light. Who knew the soliders had such fashion sense and ability to accessorize! Also file under: more proof that I may end up in hell.
Stuart Explains Television: Kota, the Triceratops
What the fuck. I thought the Japanese had cornered the market on completely worthless toys. I will now list my complaints with this toy.
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1) It’s a robotic rocking horse – THAT DOESN’T ROCK. Your kids are better off with a saddle stapled to a sawhorse.
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2) I give any child about 30 minutes to completely destroy this (see points 3, 4, & 5 for reasons it should be destroyed).
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3) It gets all happy when you pet it’s face. Have we learned nothing from Jurassic Park? Humanizing animals of any sort makes them fearless against their human masters. I believe this goes for dinosaurs as well.
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4) In addition to my last point, I feel the need to stress how children should not be used to treating robotic toys as anything other than future menaces to society and humankind. Robots, although they may someday rule all of humanity, are not yet our evil metallic overlords and we should be doing everything we can to stave off that day. After Skynet takes over, I would rather be blown to bits by a sexy T-X than gnawed to pieces by Kota the triceratops.
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5) Is he humping the triceratops? I guess this is the equivalent of a RealDoll for toddlers.
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6) At $299, you might as well let an Xbox raise your children. Let’s face it, if you were considering buying your kids a Kota, an Xbox will be doing a better parenting job anyway.
Abby the Atheist has some remarks about Kota as well.
We drink Jim Beam. RSS Feed.
January 15th, 2009
He Also Can Rhyme “Frank Sobotka.”
Warning…. if you haven’t seen all 5 seasons of The Wire…. do not watch this video. You’ve been warned.