Nisan was wandering aimlessly around the crowded exhibition hall when he suddenly found himself staring into Nemutan’s bright blue eyes. In the beginning, they were just friends. Then, when Nisan got his driver’s license a few months later, he invited Nemutan for a ride around town in his beat-up Toyota. [...] Now, after three years together, they are virtually inseparable. “I’ve experienced so many amazing things because of her,” Nisan told me, rubbing Nemutan’s leg warmly. “She has really changed my life.” [...]

Nemutan is a teenager and wears a little blue bikini and gold ribbons in her hair. Nisan knows she’s not real, but that hasn’t stopped him from loving her just the same. “Of course she’s my girlfriend,” he said, widening his eyes as if shocked by the question. “I have real feelings for her.” [...]

He treats her the way any decent man would treat a girlfriend — he takes her out on the weekends to sing karaoke or take purikura, photo-booth pictures imprinted on a sheet of tiny stickers. In the few hours we spent together, I watched him position her gently in the restaurant booth and later in the back seat of his car, making sure to keep her upright and not to touch her private parts. [...] He knows it’s weird for a grown man to be so obsessed with a video-game character, but he just can’t imagine life without Nemutan. “When I die, I want to be buried with her in my arms.” [...]

Nisan is part of a thriving subculture of men and women in Japan who indulge in real relationships with imaginary characters. These 2-D lovers, as they are called, are a subset of otaku culture— the obsessive fandom that has surrounded anime, manga and video games in Japan in the last decade. It’s impossible to say exactly what portion of otaku are 2-D lovers, because the distinction between the two can be blurry. Like most otaku, the majority of 2-D lovers go to work, pay rent, hang out with friends (some are even married). Unlike most otaku, though, they have real romantic feelings for their toys. The less extreme might have a hidden collection of figurines based on anime characters that they go on “dates” with during off hours. A more serious 2-D lover, like Nisan, actually believes that a lumpy pillow with a drawing of a prepubescent anime character on it is his girlfriend.

Toru Honda, a 40-year-old man with a boyishly round face and puppy-dog eyes, has written half a dozen books advocating the 2-D lifestyle. [...] “Pure love is completely gone in the real world,” Honda wrote. “As long as you train your imagination, a 2-D relationship is much more passionate than a 3-D one.”

Love in 2D @ The New York Times

“Newly born panda cub in the zoo, Thailand Chiang Mai, is expected to attract a bunch of tourists.

It decided to take advantage of the defenders of elephants. Zoo staff arranged this event to remind the Thais, who are fans yarymi pandas that an elephant – a symbol of their country, and these animals need attention and care.”

Link to Photos at Funster

“Daggering” is slang for dance moves simulating sexual intercourse, some of which include excitable gymnast-like moves, writes Donna Hope Marquis, a lecturer in reggae studies at the University of the West Indies, Mona, in Kingston Jamaica, in an e-mail to NEWSWEEK. [...]

Jamaican doctors assert that those trying to replicate the powerful moves of daggering in the bedroom can end up with dramatic injuries: they say the incidents of broken penises have increased in the past year; according to an article in the Jamaican Star, some clinics are seeing two a month. [...]

Full Article at NEWSWEEK.com

I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God.

Amazon Customer Reviews for Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

Sales of this shirt have increased by 2300% since internet humorists began competing for who could write the funniest review.  The Tuscan Whole Milk link is pretty boss, too.

EI: Has anyone ever spelled his name “Fill Collins” out of respect for his performance on “In the Air Tonight?”

DK: If they didn’t, they missed a big opportunity. That is a moment where man and drum connect, bound to the earth through passion and strength. If drum fills are meat, that’s prime rib. The irony is that the first half of the song is an 808 drum machine, probably programmed by Phil himself. This shows his dedication to new technologies even though he was a bad-ass on the tubs. In no way was he threatened by little buttons and bleeping lights. Phil knows himself.

You all know I already stand behind [almost] anything Dave King says, but when he was quoted as saying, “double fuck Don Henley,” my respect for him doubled.

From Do The Math, the Bad Plus blog (run by Ethan Iverson).

He owns 1,600 pairs of eyeglasses, all fitted with his prescription…Having done advertising work for the New York Fire Department, he’s managed to get a fire-department badge and radio, and has outfitted his Jeep Commander with flashing lights. Two former business associates, who requested anonymity to avoid damaging their relationship with Arnell, say Arnell carried a handgun in an ankle holster. (Arnell acknowledges only having a gun permit and says stories of him carrying it at work are “inaccurate.”) He also carries a Sony digital camera, and he snaps pictures constantly-75,000 in the past 12 months. An assistant uploads and catalogs them. Arnell devours oranges, about 20 a day, which turn his hands yellow. When he’s done with one bowl, an assistant whisks away the peels and brings in another.

From his Newsweek Profile

I wish this crazy hooker had been a better fighter.  ShamWow guy deserves a good ass kicking.

Also — Is that what $1000 gets you on the hooker scene?  I’m pretty unfamiliar with it but it seems like if you’re dropping $1000 (and does ShamWow Guy really need to pay for sex??) you should get something first class.

pictures via The Smoking Gun and TMZ

Yes, it’s true – Japan’s new Ambassadors of Cute are mainly here to raise Japans profile and combat the threat of China.

These 3 ladies represent an effort to get the world to notice and love Japanese culture. By embracing Kawaii, or cute culture, we then will help Japan gain power in a world which is being increasingly dominated by their neighbors, China.

Shizuka Fujioka dresses as a schoolgirl, Misako Aoki, a Victorian doll in voluminous frilly skirts and Yu Kimura is a singer dressed in a polka dot shirt with a bunny print, offset by bouffant back-combed hair. Her look has made her “a fashion leader in Tokyo teens’ favorite haunt, Harajuku.”

Read the Article at YesButNoButYes and then Kill Yourself.  (Via KFB)

“We are facing an unprecedented economic crisis. The ruling parties should make their utmost efforts to help (the nation) ride out this difficulty,” Aso told top officials from his ruling Liberal Democratic Party and its coalition partner, the New Komeito Party.

Aso’s order for the new stimulus package cheered investors, boosting the benchmark Nikkei 225 index by 371.03 points, or 5.2 percent, to close at 7,569.28.

It comes a day after the government said Japan’s economy shrank at a 12.1 percent annual rate in the October-December quarter, slightly better than the initial estimate of a 12.7 percent contraction, but still its sharpest contraction in 35 years.

AP Article on Japan Working on $900+ Billion Stiumulus Package