China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China
In an area of China not known to ever contain people, let alone industry, there are three mysterious triangular openings on top of a mountain containing hundreds of ancient rusty iron pipes of unknown origin. Some of the pipes go deep into the mountain. Some of them go into a nearby salt water lake. There are more pipes in the lake, and more still running east-west along the lake shore. Some of the larger pipes are 40 cm in diameter, are of uniform size and are placed in what seems like purposeful patterns. [...]
Oddly, the pipes are clean of debris despite being older than Zeus. This suggests that they were not simply shoved into the ground for the hell of it, but actually used for something. Oh, and did we mention the mountain is completely inhospitable to human life?
From Cracked.com’s Article: 6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can’t Explain
A 20-year-old man presented to the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. A well-nourished, well-developed man without signs of intoxication was admitted in no apparent distress. Digital examination of the rectum revealed a stony hard mass. Abdominal plain films showed a vertically oriented, low-lying radiopaque object in the rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass. A blood alcohol level was negative. No other drug testing was performed.
Under general anesthesia, the anus was dilated and two Foley catheters were inserted alongside the rectal mass to relieve suction. A concrete case of the rectum was delivered without incident. The rectal mucosa was intact with a hyperemic and edematous appearance.
November 17th, 2008
Stuart Explains Television: Kota, the Triceratops
What the fuck. I thought the Japanese had cornered the market on completely worthless toys. I will now list my complaints with this toy.
1) It’s a robotic rocking horse – THAT DOESN’T ROCK. Your kids are better off with a saddle stapled to a sawhorse.
2) I give any child about 30 minutes to completely destroy this (see points 3, 4, & 5 for reasons it should be destroyed).
3) It gets all happy when you pet it’s face. Have we learned nothing from Jurassic Park? Humanizing animals of any sort makes them fearless against their human masters. I believe this goes for dinosaurs as well.
4) In addition to my last point, I feel the need to stress how children should not be used to treating robotic toys as anything other than future menaces to society and humankind. Robots, although they may someday rule all of humanity, are not yet our evil metallic overlords and we should be doing everything we can to stave off that day. After Skynet takes over, I would rather be blown to bits by a sexy T-X than gnawed to pieces by Kota the triceratops.
5) Is he humping the triceratops? I guess this is the equivalent of a RealDoll for toddlers.
6) At $299, you might as well let an Xbox raise your children. Let’s face it, if you were considering buying your kids a Kota, an Xbox will be doing a better parenting job anyway.
Abby the Atheist has some remarks about Kota as well.